1) JEALOUSY
Coming to think of it, I am filled with so much jealousy that I just cannot help but feel envy when something good happens to people. I think I had this in me for a very long time but did not have reasons to feel jealous about anyone. Though it would manifest itself at times, I thought it was okay and very usual. Coming to think of it, I have been jealous about every single person I have known and been a friend of in UT,Dallas. I am going to put up a list of things that I have been jealous off since the time I have been here and I am sincerely hope that they do good in life. If there is anything that would least affect them or have is completely irrelevant then it would be my jealous ass.
As I start typing I find that its everyone.
Now that I have realized it, I am trying to control myself to make sure that jealousy is not going to lead me anywhere but taking lessons would.
2) LAZY ASS
I am a very lazy person and I have come to the point where I have realized that it is not something that I should be proud off. I have always thought that it is a cool thing and have learnt to live like that. But that is not the case and am planning to change. I have to get things done and be more active.
3) EXPECTATIONS
This is something that I din't know and I have to come to learn it now. Never get close to anyone. That definitely is not my kind of a thing and something that does not suit me I guess. I get very comfortable with people and expect from them which is essentially not the case. People don't deliver and it is a fact and one has to face it. There are no amazingly true friends who would do anything for the other. No offense but people would do anything until a particular tolerance level after which nothing happens. There is always a saturation point. And I on the other hand have pushed these extremes only to be left expecting. Not that I am a good soul, I have had selfish reasons to get into an acquaintance but I have a good side as well.
I have learnt to live as it comes. Live for the day. If i have a group of people to laugh with today, I probably might have a different group of people for tomorrow and that should be perfectly okay. The world is not a fair place. There are reasons to be happy and not to be and it simply isn't worth thinking about everything.
4) TO BE OR NOT TO BE
I am very bad at attracting the opposite sex or it is a kind of complex that I might be having. Well that is not the issue. I am wondering that if I should be worried or not about this.
Actually i think i have a lot of other stuff to worry about. I have no skills. I have no money. And even if I am into something like that, I don't think I am in a position to handle it.
I think I am boring myself with this and i will stop here.
